They Will Make a Gun Out of ANYTHING!

Clearly anyone who believes that a child is born a blank slate and we mold them thru nurture only, has never had children.

I am the only female in this house, and I do not even know how to make boy noise. Nor do I want to learn.

I don't know how to break a stick until it looks like a revolver, nor do I know how to eat a sandwich until it resembles a truck. But, my boys do.

David was playing with some buddies at the park a week ago. They were ducking into bushes, checking out cool hiding spots. I saw them running in and out of the rows of bushes playing some sort of GI Joe deal. When I got close enough to be "discovered" I was ambushed by them. I like to think I know how to play along, but mostly I think they are rolling their eyes at me when I am not looking. (Can I get and A for effort?)

I throw my hands in the air and say "I surrender!" One of the buddies pulls out his stick (it really does look like a shot gun - how do they do this?) He makes the shot gun cocking noise and says " AAGGHH I'll shoot you anyway! POW. (The girl in me is alarmed - someone call Miss Manners!)

Before I can comment, out comes the other buddy. He doesn't even ask for a surrender, he just shoots me on sight with his revolver. (also a stick) BANG.

2 seconds later David jumps out and he has this teeny tiny little stick in his hand. (I actually have the thought that he is being "robbed" of his chance to shoot me) So I inquire - Don't you have a gun? To which he exclaims. NOPE! I have a hand grenade. KAPOW!

Now, just imagine what it would be like if we allowed him to watch PG movies.

'Leave it Right There

Putting the boys to bed tonight had me remember one of those
"I have got to write that down" memories.

When David was 3 years old, he was such a joy to put to bed.
We would have great special moments where you can see right into his heart.
It was like a window to his spirit and it was always filled with good things.

One night, we finished our Bible story and prayers and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. As he was drifting off to sleep, he reached his hand out, placed it ever so gently on his cheek where I had just kissed him and said: "I am going to leave it right there." and proceeded to pat his cheek and smile until he fell asleep.

A mom can live a whole life for a moment like that.

Caleb Potty Training Story # 2

So Caleb is out of diapers for about 2 weeks. We go to a few garage sales and he has to pee. A park is near by so we stop there. To our disappointment, the bathroom doors are locked.

No problem, I have boys. Except Caleb has not yet learned to pee standing up. So I convince his older brother to "show him how to do it." I accomplish this by telling Caleb he and David can "cross their pee streams over by that bush." Don't forget, I am holding their wiggly 8 month old brother.

Caleb of course thinks this is the best thing since sliced bread, so he tries it. Both boys have a successfully fun time "crossing their pee."

The trouble came the next morning when Caleb determines to never sit on the toilet to pee again. He wasn't tall enough to stand and pee (and actually get it into the toilet) at home. No problem he thought - we have a stool!

Ok so it is 7 am and we are having a clash of the titans over how pee is going to get from his body into the toilet. Mind you he doesn't wear a diaper over the night, so this is the 1st morning pee and it is alot! Not only are we fighting over him standing on the stool naked, he is also doing the potty dance during the fight because he HAS TO GO!!!!!.

I had just gotten out of the shower. You know sometimes my day just never even gets that far. But this day I was up early (with Nathan) and I had decided to not go back to bed. I had on my makeup and the whole nine yards. I am kneeling on the floor holding my sleepy, dancing, naked son. I agree to him peeing standing up (this should have been my 1st clue - I KNOW better than to ever let him win!) .

He of course begins successfully, but gets overconfident. You guessed it - he not only falls right in to the toilet, he lounges his right hand all the way to the bottom flush hole. Getting most of his upper body into the pee filled toilet. Falling off the stool, splashing pee all over me (did I mention I had JUST SHOWERED!), the floor, himself. Oh and yes he is still peeing. You know once you start you can't stop. So that is all over the linens, the floor, the wall, the shower curtain, and the tub.

Now this in itself is enough. But even after that disaster he says: "See, I can pee standing up." in the I told you so voice.

Oh you are right honey - Why did I ever doubt you?

Boogers, Poop, and Stale Urine

Ok. Being a mom is full of "AUGH GROSS!"

I am convinced that our bathroom needs a urinal. After all, why not just flush the wall if they insist on peeing on it anyway. I am constantly walking around this house asking myself : "What is that smell?" Where is that coming from?"

Now, I am no domestic cleaning goddess, but let me tell you this place is clean enough to not smell like THAT.

The longer I am a mom, the more I could actually develop OCD. If going to your local doctor office for your well baby visit (2 days later no longer having a well baby) doesn't do it for you, just take your boys to the local supermarket. This is where you can get your weeks worth of groceries and the daily supply of someone else's bodily fluids. Gross!

Yesterday, I took David, Caleb, Nathan and Olivia outside to play. I open the sandbox cover and Caleb goes "EW that smells yucky." I found cat poop in our sandbox.

Is now the time I tell you how very much I dislike cats? Disgusting creatures. Had a cat once - His name was Nightmare. It was a fitting name.

My neighbor has a cat. She better keep it in her yard. I just can't be responsible for what might happen to it if I find it near my sandbox again.

As if I needed one more thing to clean up! We shoveled all $35 worth of sandbox sand out. Scrubbed the toys and the dinosaur sandbox and it was time for lunch. Poor kids.

The other day, Caleb sits on the big boy toilet to go pee. However, he is still so sleepy he forgets to "aim down" Pee all over the opposing wall, floor and my linens! URGH. He now stands to pee. There is of course another story to that.

This morning, I am making muffins. Everyone is sitting happily at the breakfast table. Then, Nathan sneezes. Boogers everywhere. To which Caleb begins belly laughing. Nathan of course starts laughing too because he doesn't want to be left out. Got a picture of it.

That is my life - I am reduced to boogers, poop and urine. 

Exhale!

Whew!

The birthday parties are over.

The guests are gone.

The ultrasound of Nathan's heart is done.

The cake is eaten.

The left overs are neatly put away.

The floor is clean.

The toys all have new homes.

The kids are bathed and ready for bed.

Stick a fork in me - I am DONE!

This must be why God made the seventh day, a day of rest. I need it!

Yesterday, friends of ours had their 1st baby.(on David's birthday - at the same time we were celebrating Davids 7 years, they were beginning their first moments as parents)

I smile at the journey they are just beginning and reflect on just how good ours has been.

7 years I have been a mom. I have been changed forever.
What a beautiful family I have. God has blessed us beyond measure.

David Turns 7

In a few hours I will have 12 boys running around my house with water balloons and glow sticks. David chose to have a Ben 10 party with his friends. 

Tomorrow, we have 15 relatives coming. I have made 2 Ben 10 cakes, 2 omnitrix pizzas, 45 water balloons and all the meal stuff for tomorrow.

Both David and Caleb are pumped.

Now, I just have to make it thru Nathan's Cardiology appointment.

I can hardly believe it has been 7 years since I became a mom.

Oh, how the years go by..........

Is Anyone Maning the Store?

We have 3 families on our block that have kids. 2 of us actually watch them.

I am amazed that 5 year old kids are running around for HOURS and mom and dad have no idea where they are or who they are with.

Below is a picture of only some of the neighborhood kids. Notice, I gave them something to eat.

Well, today it happened. What Tara (the other responsible mom) and I have been saying for months. Some day "that kid" is going to get really hurt.

I heard the ambulance come this afternoon and I thought for sure Evan was hit by a car. I have yelled at him a few times and his sister too to "GET OUT OF THE STREET!" He doesn't even look!

Evan does not live on our street but a block over and he is allowed to ride his bike, with training wheels,all the way over to us. His parents have never met me, nor do they know anything about me. I could literally take Evan and his sister for a "ride" and they would never be seen again. Mom and Dad would not know. SCARY!!!!!!

Well he did not get hit by a car - just a falling brick. That's right folks. The house that doesn't watch has a tree fort. You guessed it - some of the older kids were on the fort stacking old landscaping bricks into a tower and knocking down to the ground - can you imagine?!

Guess what? Evan walked right under it and SLAM right on his head. Blood everywhere. Neither the mom of the house nor the mom of the kid were watching. It takes a neighbor boy to get him some help. Kid was taken to ER with neck brace and on a stretcher.

So David says to me. OH BOY! I guess that is why you don't let me play in their backyard.

UMM YUP that is why. (well that is one of MANY reasons) Like their middle child jumping from the 2nd story window "pretending to be Superman"

Well, let's just say he was no Man of Steel. More like Boy on Pavement. Lucky the kid lived. GEEZ!

We had a prayer time for Evan as the ambulance drove off. 'Was a great learning experience for my WIDE EYED Caleb ( Mr. No Fear) and my very concerned David.