For the last several days I have been dwelling on the fact that all the cousins will be school age next fall, except mine.
Now I have NEVER been a fan of the baby stage, but I have got to tell you it seems that now that David is in school, I am even more ready to leave this stage of life. I have progressed into the car pool, sports dominated scheduled stage of life, but yet have the preschool and the baby stage still occurring.
Happy is a choice I tell my kids and have been reminding myself of this more and more frequently. Suck it up Jenny, get over it, no one likes your pity party. Including yourself, I might add. Still I have been in quite a funk lately.
Winter is here and I HATE it. I don't like leaving in this weather with everyone and I like staying home in the same 4 walls with them even less. John has been working on a HUGE project that gets launched this week and has been busier than normal. (and normal is pretty busy as it is)
Social isolation is difficult for me.
So here is the kick in the pants I get today.
I am reading my Bible this AM and am appealing to God for the desires of my heart. I confess to him that I am crabby all the time and am in a funk. I have recently started saying: this is your day Lord help me to order it in a way that is pleasing to you.Then I open up to Psalms for today's scriptures.
Psalm 50 (subtitled what pleases God) the passage goes on as a conversation between God and the nation of Israel. God proceeds to tell them to stop gossiping, telling lies, breaking your wedding vows and ignoring correction. He continues to say I don't want your burnt offerings. If I wanted a bull or a goat for food I wouldn't tell you. I don't need you to do anything for me. I am the creator of the universe, everything is mine. So stop giving me what you think I want. The only thing I want you to give me is thanks. If your prayer and offerings are in thanksgiving or repentance then I will accept them. But your attitude is all wrong and your have forgotten to be thankful to me.
HMMMM. I smile at the recurring lesson here. I have been thru this lesson before. I have preached to my kids about this. Matter of fact, recently my older boys have been VERY unthankful and rude to me and I have made note of this. Not to addressing it correctly but to feeling justified in my funk and feel righteous in my complaint to God. (nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms......) See they are all out to get me - those unthankful little children!
So I close my Bible and dwell on and thank God for the MANY MANY things I am thankful for.
Change in my perspective. Amazing what a little thank you can do. End of pity party.