Sunday, November 2, 2008

Sucker for the middle child

I was not a middle child. I was the baby. So it is not because I am "projecting my past"that I write this next post.

My Caleb has my heart strings in the palm of his hand (not that my other kids don’t also). I am just a sucker for the underdog.

Yesterday, I opened another savings account just for the boys. I have been holding on to some money gifts for them for some time. Problem is, I needed to go into the bank, not just the drive thru. No big deal right – well maybe if you don’t have 3 kids in tow and visible candy machines at a BORING bank that has a forever line. (add eye roll)

So as I make my deposit, I realize I have a LARGE gift for David, an almost as large gift for Nathan and the big NOTHING for Caleb. That is NOT because he spent it on toys or anything. It is just that both my other boys have someone “Special” that takes an added interest in their lives besides their parents. But Caleb does not. (these "Special people are not sponsors or God parents or anything else of the like, nor are those relationships something we initiated. They are simply spontaneous wonderful relationships that God gifted to my 2 boys)

Now before I continue, let me be sure I emphasis that Caleb is well covered on the clothes, toys and love department from his Grandpa Paul (who actually is Santa for those of you who don’t believe) and from us of course. Maybe it is just me, but Caleb seems to be the one who is forgotten (when one of them is forgotten that is).

I can recall 3 times in the last month where someone at our church or our IMMEDIATE family forgot his name (but not the other 2) or asked us about David and Nathan but not Caleb. I actually had a family member say “ok, so now you have David and Nathan right?" At first I blew it off, but I am beginning to wonder what it is about Caleb that makes him so forgettable. He is certainly NOT shy nor QUIET. Is it because David was the 1st and Nathan is new that Caleb isn't in the memory?

It actually took 2 years for him to get added to our family in our church directory and has yet to have his birthday put on their distributed calendar (although Nathan’s and David’s is there) yes I told them about it.

Then today I get in the mail a card that is addressed to David and Nathan. It is a cute Halloween card that has a few bucks in it. Some for David and some for Nathan. But you guessed it, none for Caleb. UHMMM don’t want to seem ungrateful or anything but it is pretty hard to explain to him now that he is 3 and understands he is being left out. (Where is mine?) This isn't the 1st time Caleb was missed in the holiday card thing, actually it was the 3rd. But neither of my other 2 have been missed. Weird.

You know what? This post sounds like I am ungrateful. I really am not. I just feel so bad for the kid. He doesn't notice that people forget his name or that his birthday or picture was missed, but I do.

Maybe I need to change my heart and attitude, I will pray about that. But in the interim I am going to be busy making sure Caleb isn’t left feeling like the forgotten middle child.